Going in Circles
by SPYforYOU
Summary: Jane comes for a visit when Holden falls sick and they muse his future and were he plans to go from here. He still struggles to realize what being an adult really means and Jane tries to help talk him through it.


**Our teacher asked us to write added scenes and I though, "Psh. Easy. I write fanfiction all the time!" So I though I'd share it with you as well. **

**As usual... R&R :)**

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_**The Catcher in the Rye**_**- Going in Circles**

I never got around to calling Jane, but she did come by to see me. This was when I was sick. You know, maybe I did get pneumonia from sleeping on those cold park benches. I was shivering in the bed and I thought I was going to die or something. I had a pile of sheets wrapped tightly around me and a sharp old doctor with slicked back hair looking over me. Even with those sheets and the medicine I felt like I was going to die. You just never know when you're going to go. It scared the hell out of me how one moment you could be awake and seeing all the people around you and the next night you just might not wake up again.

I remembered how Allie died. He was sitting in a bed wrapped up in sheets like I was just like this. It made me depressed as hell when I saw him sitting there all wrapped up like a cocoon sick and pale. Even though his hair was patchy and thinner it was still bright red, sticking up all over the place. Allie and I used to go to the park with Phoebe and put on our roller skates and have races: who could make it to other end of the park first? You could always pick out Allie because of his red hair. I would have lost him in the crowd of the park if he didn't have such bright hair.

Anyways, Jane came over. It wasn't really to see me but her parents came over to talk to mine and they all stood in a circle with their phony smiles and fake small talk. It made me want to puke, it really did, on how they stood there and made stupid conversation about the weather and whether D.B was doing grand in Hollywood or not. Grand. I hated that word, and I'll bet a thousand bucks none of them gave a crap about what the other person said.

"How are you doing?" Jane asked. At first she stood next to the bed I was lying in twisting her hands, but once she sat down, we fell into our old routine. I noticed how pretty she looked; her hair was straight and long, and she wore a pretty dress. I really thought she looked swell and when I told her that she blushed deep red. She was different somehow, or maybe it was just me. I had always wished everything could stay in its place, just like a museum, but everything was running past me like a train.

"I'm terrific," I mumbled. My throat was all raspy and I was actually feeling pretty lousy.

She smiled at that. "You don't look it. The hat's nice though."

Oh yea, the hat. I didn't give a rat's ass who saw me wearing that hat now. It was warm and I had to admit it looked pretty good on me. I still pushed the brim further down, flattening it farther on my head.

It felt good to be talking with Jane again. I always thought about calling her but you have to be in the mood for that kind of stuff. I wasn't feeling up to it before, but now that she was sitting next to me and we were talking together, I liked her more and more. She really was pretty, though a little plain, and boy could she hold a conversation. I asked her if she wanted a cigarette but she refused politely. You could tell she was really disgusted by it in the way she scrunched her nose and her voice got all stiff. It was kind of sad how in these situations, even she acted like a phony. But then she told it to me straight, "You really shouldn't do that. You're still sick. Besides, it's disgusting," and I had to rethink my rash thoughts. I realized that I do that a lot, like with Mr. Antolini. I felt bad about how I had rushed out of his house like that. Even if he was a flit, he still had taken me into his house in the middle of the night. He was a pretty okay guy and yet I had run out of there like a bat out of hell. It made me depressed when I thought about that night; I really ought to get back and say something. I never even went back to thank him. Maybe I'll ring him up later.

Anyways, I was talking to Jane and all, and I asked her about her date with Stradlater and if they were still going out. I wondered if he ever gave her my message. Those bastards never give anyone your message. At first she got all righteous about it, asking me why I wanted to know. Then she asked me how I even knew about that, and I told her that I had roomed with him at Pencey Prep before I got kicked out. She ended up telling me that he was an ass, a good looking one though and I had to agree, and they had spent most of their time in the back seat of his car necking. He hadn't even bothered to take her somewhere nice. It made me angry to know that Stradlater had put his hands on her. He didn't know how she liked to put all the kings in the back row or that she had a jackass of a father. Unlike Sally, Jane could make me laugh. It was funny because usually girls like their guy to be super funny and they just quietly giggle. Jane would say something and tilt her head back in a loud laugh. It nearly _killed_ me every time she did that. Mrs. Gallagher even stuck her head in and told us to quiet down because they were having a serious discussion.

When I told Jane about getting kicked out of Pencey she had the same expression and the same response as every other person who heard the news. Even Phoebe had a similar reaction. It pissed me off how no one would know about how that school was filled to the roof with phonies full of crap and that I just felt so suffocated in there. There weren't even any goddamn horses or a polo team. I had been on the fencing team, manager and all, but it wasn't that great. We weren't that good.

Jane still shook her head in disappointment when she heard that I had gotten kicked out. I had told her this would be my fourth time kicked out of a school, and I was sure that my parents were going to send me to the military this time or something horrible and how I was actually really scared. She just gave me one long look with her brown eyes and sighed. I think she didn't even know what to tell me. I didn't even know what to tell myself.


End file.
